Dollywood!

This weekend was one of those blissful creations of the FORSCOM Gods you forget about when you're languishing in DC or at a TRADOC installation: the absolutely random and no less appreciated four-day. There was no reason for it, it corresponded with zero holidays, nobody else got two weekends after Labor Day off work, and that made it even better. We decamped to Dollywood, hoping to beat the crowds, as we had promised Ford we'd do ever since he- also for absolutely zero reason- came home from school begging to go.

First off, Dollywood is so. far. Almost six hours, to be exact, although you can see the hazy blue outline of the Smokies in only about four. Seth was beyond thrilled with a 7am wakeup on his day off. Second, we didn't realize it was Harvest Fest- a major planning fail- and apparently even on a non-holiday Friday, the allure is undeniable. Dollywood is crowded.

Third, it was hot. Like, North Carolina in late September, stupid hot.
Luckily, Dollywood had thought of everything and had mini-splash parks everywhere (this is Ford shooting Finley in the water gun fight of the century),

and I had decided to "go big or go home," and combined the trip with a stay at last year's greatest hit, Wilderness at the Smokies.

We got the two day Dollywood ticket (best plan ever, happened upon accidentally), and spent our days enjoying terrific shows and vintage cars,

historic carousels and yet another blasted steam locomotive (Ford's fave and the literal worst thing ever),

rides that everyone loved,

super creepy characters that exactly 1/2 of the family enjoyed (and the other half eyed suspiciously),

and a really incredible Birds of Prey show at the completely unexpected American Eagle Foundation, which turns out to be headquartered at Dollywood,

and which took all our money.

Birds collected the donations, what do you want from us?

Seth renewed his- very strong- application for Dad of the Year,

and we loved every second of cooling off at the only waterpark I've ever run across that doesn't make me want to bleach myself.

Which has all kinds of death defying slides for Finley (this isn't one of them, she just liked this one, and so did her very indulgent father)

and plenty for our cautious big guy, who is always eying stuff Finley is doing and informing us that "that looks dang'rous." (He can easily swim the width of the pool after diving in but wears a life jacket, you know, just in case.)

Also, we can highly endorse waterparks with tiki bars that open at hours that decent people aren't even awake yet. Key to vacation success.

Somewhere in there we even managed to discover a local joint- hard to come by in the Pigeon Forge metropolis- in Sevierville called Graze, which had these hilariously gigantic kid menu items,

and terrific live music. Which yielded this adorable dance

and the less-so production of Finley needing a "microphone" to put on her own show.

After this absolutely apropos mic drop marching out of the park

Seth the trooper drove all six hours home last night, as we were desperate for a "reset day" after three long ones of fun in the sun. We spent today doing laundry and wondering why you can't celebrate surviving Dollywood (and Wilderness at the Smokies) every day:

Although we sure are glad we did it.

One of my favorite photos of the week has nothing to do with our epic Smokies adventure and everything to do with the fact that F+F are currently obsessed with "The Descendants" and Finley made Ford a crown so he could be like "Prince Ben." And he wears it everywhere. And tells people "my sister made it."