Thank goodness for Grandma Jayne!

I have often joked, usually pursuant to the conversation about how single parents must be some kind of superheroes, that parenting is a three person job that can be done by two people. In a pinch.

Then we had two kids, and I realized that that was not a joke. The only sentiment Seth and I are capable of expressing at the moment is gratitude that Grandma Jayne has been here these two weeks as we try to get our arms around working, moving, and juggling two under two.

One of whom was sent home from daycare with the highly contagious hand foot and mouth disease this week. After spending an entire weekend drooling on all of us, including her baby brother.

At any rate, Seth has papers due all week and I'm trying to get move dates scheduled and scrambling to clear my desk after 5+ months away and before a PCS in 6 weeks (with the added bonus of a sick Finley who wakes up at all hours of the night and an every three hours pumping/ feeding schedule that I have definitely not missed.) Our tiny bit of spare time is already an insane jumble of "distract this kid while I sneak out the door," and "can you hold the baby while I make dinner?" and "why is (insert child's name) crying???" There is no way we would also have been able to coordinate keeping Finley home and away from Ford this week without Grandma Jayne.

And because she is here, Ford still gets naptime snuggles

and Finley still gets to eat guac with a spoon at Fish Taco on Friday nights. (Eating at a restaurant with two under two definitely requires more than man-on-man defense.)

We all celebrated surviving my first week back this weekend with a BBQ with friends Saturday (which included a bubble machine and a fish pond),

a Sunday trip to the (super sketchy and crowded) Sandy Point State Park beach,

and a crab dinner in downtown Annapolis (to Seth's chagrin, since the proximity to the Naval Academy always puts him in a terrible mood.)

Finley, however, loves Annapolis- especially the street performers around the harbor. This is her boogying to accordion music. I wish I had thought to take a video, because it was hilarious. She does not have moves.

This week is a short week, at least, and we're trying to pretend that Grandma Jayne doesn't go back to North Dakota after the long weekend. We're terrified. In the meantime, it seems that dinner is made and Finley- after a stunning and hilarious surprise performance involving the secretive use of her training pottychair last night- is on her way to being potty trained. And Ford does not have any daycare viruses that we can tell. Total grandma magic.

Grandma Jayne also snapped my three favorite photos of the week. Here's Ford, looking ready to drive:

Finley, looking ready to rob a bank:

and another one of Finley, showing off her dance moves. At a restaurant in Annapolis. In a West Point hat.

My last few days, and a hilarious burrito episode.

It occurred to me sometime last week that I only had a couple days of maternity leave (and this) left.

I admit I got a little panicky. Not only was I starting to suffer from serious nostalgia at the realization that this was last time I would have a baby this small to snuggle, there was also so much I had planned to do that I hadn't done! I had spent plenty of time cooking and cleaning and doing laundry, to be sure, but I hadn't gotten everything prepped and sorted for the move like I had intended. I had steam cleaned the couch an estimated 235 times, but I had not scrubbed the baseboards. I hadn't taken Ford hiking or to the beach, or found DC's best veggie burger, or done anything else on my "tourist" bucket list. And I definitely had not taken enough naps.   

 
But I still had time! It would take some scrambling, but I knew I could squeeze some of it in. We started with a nap in the hammock,

followed by a hike to Fort DeRussy (Ford was not a very animated hiking companion).

We went in search of that veggie burger, and determined that the best one really is at Redwood in Bethesda. Although this lentil burger at Sticky Fingers, a vegan bakery in Columbia Heights, was pretty good.

We explored the National Cathedral, which I had always wanted to do (Ford slept through that too), and had lunch downtown with friends.

We really nailed our last few days, and by the time the weekend rolled around it was Finley's turn for Mom time. She really just wanted to go to the pool, and Seth was happy to take Ford to pick up his Father's Day present (an absurdly expensive new hunting bow) while I was on waterwing duty.

Swimming, as my Mom always says, makes a girl hungry, though, so we went in search of some guacamole afterwards. Which Finley ate while waiting on our order.

And then she ate her entire quesadilla.

And then, when we got home, she helped herself to Seth's burrito while I set the table. Which was hilarious- and a little terrifying.

For Seth's first Father's Day with twoundertwo, Ford and I picked up brunch

while these two (following a 2am wakeup by Finley the Terrorist) slept in. We celebrated with mimosas and the aforementioned expensive bow before a frenzied evening of airport runs, rental cars, and packing 18 million bags for "back to work" day (because everything at the Pentagon is a giant pain in the ass.)

Jayne is here now, a total godsend, holding down the fort for my first couple weeks back at work. I could not be more grateful, as the loving presence of Grandma definitely helped minimize the tears as I handed off my baby and drove to the Pentagon without a carseat in the car for the first time in months. (Although even SuperGrandma could not minimize the subsequent tears upon realizing that my Pentagon access had somehow expired during my absence, both computer accounts had been wiped, I didn't have the code to the lactation room where I could pump [since I work in a cubicle], and I would be spending the next several days lugging a breastpump around the building trying to get in, once even having to wait in line to be searched behind a number of tour groups.) (Which was kind of hilarious, since we were in line so long they actually offered me a boxed lunch.) (I should have said yes.)

 

The photos of the week were obviously Finley's burrito series above, but I also liked this one, of Seth and Ford passed out on the couch before the arrival of reinforcements. This is what Friday night fun looks like these days.

And this is Ford looking like such a big guy! We're all working on finding our new normal these days, and I hate only getting a couple hours a day to split between he and Finley. Evenings at our house are a certifiable circus, but we're trying hard to enjoy every minute...

The pool, the dentist, and my Last Week.

Ford smiles now. And not just because he has gas. He's also starting to make baby coos and be able to focus and recognize voices, and he makes hilarious faces like this one.

Just my luck- of course the sweet spot of "starting to be really interesting but still up for baby snuggles" occurs my last week of maternity leave!

It's starting to hit me that I go back to work next week. The whole thing is, fortunately, very stress-free since Seth's Mom is coming out for a couple weeks to ease the transition (and the guilt) (and, for the second kid in a row, make sure I don't have to drop a tinnyyyy baby off at daycare.) So I'm spending my last week deep cleaning the couch and getting back on the treadmill and enjoying being a stay at home Mom while it lasts.

Which means play dates for Finley (she's in the "parallel play" stage, so she enjoys her friend Vihan's toys-especially his trampoline and his police car- but studiously ignores him).

Anddd we joined the YMCA- feeling very suburban- so we've been going through the hilarious machinations it requires to get two kids to the pool. We're still getting the hang of it, and Finley's getting used to her new water wings.

Ford, on the other hand, much prefers lounging poolside to cold water. Can't say we blame him.

One of the hottest weekends on record, we split ours between the Bethesda pool and the "real city kid" version, the fountain at the Georgetown waterfront park. Finley loved Georgetown, Seth met us there on his bike,

and I got a serious workout getting two kids up the hill to the only parking space we could find on a sunny Sunday afternoon.

Of course, today was back to reality, and we kicked off Monday with a bang. Finley had her first dental appointment. At Walter Reed. Not realizing I would be responsible for holding her down, Ford and I walked into the exam room with her, blissfully unaware, and we all emerged thirty minutes later, shellshocked.

Finley did not have a great time, and bit the dentist to boot. At one point I was actually nursing Ford, who was precariously balanced on one knee, while holding a writhing Finley down in the chair with the other knee.

I'm pretty sure the trauma to all three of us is not permanent, but our week has simply got to be all downhill from here...!

A couple favorite photos from the week: the look Finley gave me Saturday night when I informed her that she could not, in fact, have "fried" (baked) pickles for dinner after she helped herself to the whole plate:

Ford looking sleepy but like such a big guy at the pool:

Finley cooling off in the fountain:

and Saturday morning, letting us know exactly what she wanted to do that day.

NOT our best road trip, and here goes summer!

I honestly thought my head might explode as I searched for an exit from the Jersey Turnpike. I glanced at my phone screen to make sure I hadn't read it wrong. As I pulled off the toll road and looked for the ill-signed re-entry booth, the sky opened up and a torrential downpour began. I could just hear the rain-induced accidents on the road in front of me, causing hours of traffic jams and general misery. From the backseat, Ford started wailing. Perfect.

Yesterday was the worst. Ford and I spent a few minutes shy of seven hours in the car. In the interests of eventually speaking to my husband again, or at least not becoming suspect #1 should he wind up in the river, I will skip the discussion of how housing at West Point was his job, how I was the one who discovered when it was too late to overnight one that our designated proxy did not have the required power of attorney, or how I was in New Jersey on a spur of the moment roadtrip with a hungry six week old while still recovering from mastitis when I got a text message that said he had suddenly, magically gotten the house secured over the phone in contravention of everything we'd been told. I'm sure that couldn't have been done, I don't know, the day before I threw some things in a bag and embarked on the road trip from hell.

At least we got chick-fil-a.

It's not all Seth's fault. The West Point housing draw, and its requirement of in-person house selection on the appointed day, cannot possibly be legal. I've never heard of such a thing, anywhere else, and it's absurd.

Anyway, what matters, or what will matter eventually, is that we have a house at West Point, and it is the exact one we wanted. It's ADA accessible, not a duplex, backs up to the woods, and is close to the park. It also has four bedrooms instead of the three we technically should have, so our guests will not have to sleep in the driveway. (Although they will have to share space with dead animal heads.) Our friends Heather and Jim live right down the road, and took this picture for us.

Ford and I are recovering today, and I'm reminded that we did have a great weekend. The BFFPLs (my two best friends, Michelle and Nicole, and I) were reunited, Nicole having driven up from Wilmington, and the kids got to meet Aunt Nic for the first time. (I can't believe I hadn't seen her since her wedding in Puerto Rico, pre-Finley.) Michelle and Nicole and I got to have a girls' night out dinner (kid-free, and what a treat!), and we wore heels and caught up over wine and tapas with no interruptions. It was divine.

And of course we had hilarious adventures. Nic and I took Finley to Glen Echo to go to the playground, and happened upon the Washington Folk Festival. Finley loved the music and didn't seem to mind the smell of patchouli.

She also took Ford for his first carousel ride (he wasn't terribly impressed)

and enjoyed her ice cream in the park. It's definitely starting to feel like summertime.

Sunday Finley took home this gargantuan hand-me-down from Grace after Michelle's BBQ. It's a huge kitchen complete with pots, pans, and enough plastic food to drive me bonkers. It also has a random fake phone that she likes to talk on while she "cooks." It's adorable, the plastic banana I tripped on on my way to the bathroom at 2am notwithstanding.

Ford's turning into a handsome guy, although he's losing the hair on top of his head in a rather strange balding pattern,

and- already an alert little guy when not sleeping- he's starting to stay awake and look around more. He remains terrified of Finley, and we would be too. She's a wild one. We're working on "gentle."

The photos of the week were both unprompted Finley-isms. She currently loves Dad's beret

and Ford's nursing pillow. And cracks herself- and us- up constantly.

Memorial Day and Mastitis

Not much energy for blogging this week as I'm laid up with a miserable case of mastitis. (104 degree temperatures, heart rate through the roof, violent chills, cold sweats, vicious headaches, vomiting... who knew? Nobody ever tells you about this, and then when you ask around they're like "ohhhhh yeah. Sickest I've ever been." WTF.)

I finally went to the doctor yesterday and was about to be admitted when they told me I couldn't bring Ford with me. Which is beyond ridiculous. Non-army hospitals have no problem with this, for one (meaning if I weren't active duty this wouldn't be an issue), and anybody with five seconds and a google-enabled device knows that the best way to get rid of a clogged duct is to continue to breastfeed. So Seth, who can't take time off school or he won't graduate ILE which would severely complicate everything and at minimum mean we wouldn't PCS together, was supposed to handle a 6 week old and an 18 month old by himself, figure out how to ferry breastmilk back and forth since I'd have to pump in the hospital, and what? Take Ford to class with him?

That was obviously not going to happen. In tears and with a 104.5 degree fever and a hungry six week old, I signed a form that said I refused to be admitted over doctor's advice and would use the less-effective antibiotic pills (knowing that the IV form would work days faster), and was told to go get in the hourlong pharmacy line. Oh, Walter Reed. You're terrible.

We survived the evening though, and I'm hopeful that the antibiotics will kick in any second now. Bethesda Breastfeeding (the same people who got Finley to be able to nurse after her rough delivery) saved the day again, as I called them desperately from the doctor's office. They found us a night nanny within minutes. She was wonderful and, other than a couple hours of shivering chills, I got a decent night's sleep for once. Seth, who's been a saint, got Ford into hourly care at CDC today. (I was beyond worried to leave him at only 6 weeks, but it's in Finley's old classroom which made me feel much better. The care providers there are like family.) So I'm hopeful that one more day in bed (and trying all the home remedies the four corners of the internet and all my well-meaning friends can provide) will have me at least functional sooner rather than later.

There really is nothing worse than being super sick with a baby, I'm reminded, as memories of Seth's last-minute trip to Nebraska with Finley when I had meningitis last year drift through my addled brain. You really just don't have a lot of options.

At any rate, we had a nice Memorial Day/ anniversary (seriously- only 3 years?!?!) weekend before this all kicked off. I was determined to have a getaway as it's kind of a tradition, and although we're still not quite sure the juice is worth the squeeze on getaways with newborns, it's nice to remind yourselves that you can still do it. Plus, Seth got to play golf (his anniversary present) and our children both love luxury accommodations. These pictures both crack me up and make me concerned about our vacation budget in future. Finley in particular enjoys a nice plush hotel bathrobe.

We had a condo at the beautiful Kingsmill Resort in Williamsburg, which has an amazing kids' pool (with a bar!) and Finley loved the lazy river. (The resort and pool really are stunning, although for some reason the angle on this picture makes it look as if the lazy river runs through Detroit.)

Ford did not love his first time in the pool (it was a tad cold for him- look at his little hands!) but didn't mind lounging poolside.

We did have our first poop-in-the-pool-diaper incident, and it was every bit as horrifying (and hysterical) as one imagines. We all recovered nicely with the help of french fries and (some of us) beer. This picture makes me laugh. All of our nieces and nephews have gorgeous tan skin and I get these beautiful pictures of them running around happy and sunkissed on the beach. Our little white babies, on the other hand, hate sand, do not care to have sun in their eyes, and enjoy the pool under umbrellas, with hats and SPF 100.

The times have certainly changed (and not just because I, personally, love the sun.) This was our anniversary dinner. Super romantic (and hilarious). I think Finley was crying because Seth wouldn't let her throw forkfuls of his lasagna on the floor.

This is my favorite photo of the week. They look to be sharing a moment... and this is why we have two. I probably need to print it and keep a copy by my bed to remind myself.

I also liked this one (Seth, inexplicably, went to the store for laundry detergent and came back with a badminton set for Finley. Who loved it, but is a bit dangerous with the racquets)

and this one, of Finley in the hated lifevest. I considered cropping it to artfully exclude my muffin top, but hey- this is what 5 weeks postpartum looks like. Although I should probably locate a onepiece swimsuit, I feel good about the fact that I'm taking my kids to the pool.

And maybe mastitis-induced nausea will turn out to be the diet of champions.
Kidding.
Sort of.

Oh, one more thing. Ford got to meet his Aunt Jackie on Monday, when she was overnighting at Andrews (Seth took Finley out for crabcakes.) He (Ford, that is) snuggled like a champ and then peed all over her bed. Twice. It seems that it has not been a good week in the "Nieman bodily fluids" department. (But I love this picture.)